I sleep on a couch, btw.
But that is about to change. I'm about to move to Denton, and most likely will have my own room. I'd prefer sleeping on the floor in my own room than a living room couch.
Another thing I hate is waking up with flea bites, or some sort of bites, don't know, they could be mosquitos. Or, as has happened twice now, waking up and there's a trail of ants walking to the table that is right beside this couch that I sleep on.
I hate waking up on the couch. It makes me feel worth less. Not completely without worth, just worth (space) less.
Funny thing happened today. I drew a tarot card, and it was The Sun. As I was driving in the car to get something to eat with Chris and Brandon, it felt like the sun was burning my skin more than usual. I'm taking some prescription medicine right now (I'll write why), and one of the side effects is sensitivity to the sun. So we eat and everything is good.
When we get home a little bit later, I'm shuffling and playing with the tarot cards, and I accidentally drop some of them. All of the ones I dropped landed face down, except one, The Sun. Wow, I think, what a coincidence.
Then Chris chose a card, and I told him about it. And then he asked if I could hold the deck so that he could choose another one, just to see what he would have gotten, but I said no, because... hmm... I guess because, no I don't know exactly why. I had a better reason in my head at the time, so I told him no I wouldn't hold it, and he went ahead and chose a card at random. Which one was it? THE SUN! I read about it, and was kind of buzzed, so I'll have to review it again. I think the reason I didn't want to hold the deck so he could choose another card is because I thought it would somehow lessen whatever tarot powers there were, going back and choosing another one.
Here's a kicker, I consider myself atheist. But I'm always wondering if there is something else. I don't believe there is such thing as agnostic, we were talking about this earlier, because if one doesn't know, then that means that one lacks a belief in a god, and is therefor atheist. Or if one believes something exists, but does not know what it is, then one is a deist. So do I believe in the tarot? Rationally, no I don't. Something inside me wants to think that there is something else, and I can't ignore that something inside me, so I will no doubt keep on trying to interpret signs in the future (like I always have, even though a lot of the times, maybe all the times, the signs are fruitless).
And the reason I'm taking medicine right now is because I was bit by a tick 2 weeks ago, and I was experiencing some symptoms that worried me, so I went to the doctor, and she prescribed the medicine, and I'm waiting for a blood test. I'm hoping it's nothing. That would mean that I took medicine for nothing, and got burned by The Sun for nothing. But I'm comforted knowing that I'm taking the necessary precautions in case I did have something. I'd rather have gone to the doctor and known, than to be living worried.
I thought of a story. It's about a guy who gets prescribed this medicine, but he takes too much of it, so he kind of turns into a vampire, because he took so much of the medicine that it made him not be able to be in the sun at all. And he was a goth or something, and in the past he sharpened his fangs, so now he looks like a vampire AND feels like one. And he convinces himself that he's turning into one, so he starts craving blood, even though there is no physical connection, it's all in his head.
I should go to sleep, I have to work later.
-Leo
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