Bloody Holly

no, buying a lot of coffees just to get the scratch-and-win-$ cards does not make me a gambling addict! i just love the rush i get when i'm scratching the card! i feel so energized, and I don't know why!!! ARRGGG!!!

I need help. just kidding.

maybe I do, I don't know.

I don't know what's with the title of the post, I'm just listening to some Buddy Holly and thought I would appear cool for once if I put a "cool-kid" spin on the name. Someday I'll join those losers.

The cool kids get invited to all parties. I get invited if they're in need of a designated driver. I'm not the loser though. They can keep drinking all they want. I'll just sit back and laugh as they make asses of themselves. Sometimes that backfires though, and I'm sitting on the couch enjoying my pepsi (that I had to provide myself) and the whole party is pointing and laughing at me. I'll try to laugh with them for some time, but I can't last that long, and my tears soon start to mix in with the laughter. I tell them I'm crying because I'm laughing so hard, and that makes them laugh even harder, which in turn makes me cry even harder. I comfort myself by thinking over and over again that that's only happened 4 times.

It's ok, I'll get past this. Hopefully this book I'm reading will help. It's called Chicken Soup for You, Leo Loera, From Your Mom (heart). It's only one page long, and has only one sentence, "Get a job by tomorrow, or get the hell out!" I'll just leave a post it note on my door saying "I'm getting a job right now, don't come in please."

I don't really live with my mom. I just lied. I'm honest, that will be my downfall. The cause of my divorce will be that I can't lie. "That dress is too tight on you... What do you mean it's a queen sized blanket?" "No, this lipstick on me isn't yours. My buds threw me a party... Was she hot? What do you mean she?"

The cause of my time in prison will be the same honesty.

Officer: "How many drinks have you had tonight, bud?"

Me: "Enough to give you what you desire, champ."

It's all good though. This world could use a little more honesty. Speaking of honesty, I need a transition to my next joke, and I think that was a good one, especially since it has nothing to do with honesty. It's all about lying! Really though, it's not, it's about finishing on a good note. But it's funny how I did lie, and was honest about it, right?

-Leo